|This article is about an episode of Part 4. You may be looking for the Eldritch Terror known as The Weird.|
|“||You will bear witness. We are the Weird. We are older than the stars. We are older than time. We were born in the first ocean. All life began with us, and all life will return to us. You will all be assimilated. You will all become our slaves. In the Dark Wet we shared one consciousness. We will share it again. First, this host. With her power we will assimilate this school. Then this town. Then this continent. Then this world. You will become a part of us. Then we will be nourishment for the Void. That is our role. That is our function. To absorb and to be absorbed. But first, kill yourselves as tributes to my eldritch brothers and sisters. We are the Weird. You will all succumb. You will all be colonized.||”|
— The Weird
Two nights ago, Blackwood, Agatha, Mary, Judas, and Judith stood by the window of the Pilgrims of the Night Church awaiting the arrival of the third Eldritch Terror — the Weird. Before long, the Weird arrives and tell Blackwood that he will serve them, as they seek a new host of warm, wet, red flesh. They require a powerful body. Blackwood offers his own, but the Weird One says that he’s too weak. They want Sabrina Spellman, as she bested both the Darkness and the Uninvited. With her, they will colonize the Earth. Mary notes that they’ll require a Trojan horse in order to gain access to Sabrina.
Present day, Ambrose examines a corpse that supposedly drowned in Sweetwater River, however, the lividity marks pooled on his upper chest indicate that there’s a great deal of salt water in his lungs. The phone rings. As Ambrose converses with a customer, the Weird One exits the corpse and makes its way into the mortuary.
Sabrina incorporates the candle she used for the cord-cutting spell to sever her connection with Harvey and Nick into her latest ritual. She intends to create herself a companion made of red wax — may he be sweet and sensitive like Harvey but powerful with a dash of danger like Nick. She then takes the miniature wax figure and places it in a tub filled with water. Sabrina awakens the following morning to see that the figure had doubled in size. At this rate, she’ll have the perfect boyfriend before the weekend.
Sabrina joins Ambrose in the kitchen as he prepares for a presentation with the coven in regards to the impending danger presented by the Eldritch Terrors. Meanwhile, Zelda calls Hilda at Cerberus Books as she no longer lives at the mortuary. Unfortunately, Zelda is lost at home without her. She can’t find her morning paper nor her lighter in addition to there being no coffee.
The Order of Hecate gathers at the Desecrated Church, where Ambrose explains that the Eldritch Terrors are ancient entities that pre-date recorded time and space. They existed before primitive concepts of good and evil. They are inhuman and unkillable, as well as world destroying. However, thanks to Harvey and Roz, they have been given prophetic clues as to the terrors yet to come. Prudence proceeds to pass out Harvey’s drawings while Ambrose explains that they’ve already encountered the Darkness and the Uninvited, meaning there are six more terrors yet to come, culminating with the arrival of the Void. And with it the end of all things. They suspect that Blackwood had a direct hand at releasing the terrors, meaning he is to be killed on sight. Melvin asks what they can do to prepare, however, Ambrose admits that there isn’t much they or the Dark Mother can do. As the meeting concludes, Mambo Marie asks Roz how did she see the images in the drawings. Roz explains that she has a sixth sense called the cunning that allows her to see things others can’t. Harvey becomes uneasy and tells Roz that they have to leave for school.
Lucas Hunt, new student at Baxter High and transfer from Innsmouth High, takes a seat next to Sabrina as the class discusses invertebrates. Lucas reveals that he held a live octopus in his hands once while scuba diving in the Atlantic Ocean. As class concludes, Lucas asks Sabrina for her number. She gives him her number while mentioning that she’s been busy as of late working at her family’s funeral home. Lucas is fascinated, comparing it to the film Six Feet Under.
Roz asks Sabrina why she doesn’t want to go to dinner with Lucas. Sabrina explains that she doesn’t want to be dating a different person every night, which Roz explains is the fun of being single. Sabrina simply wants to meet someone she can connect with, to which Roz points out that Lucas could be just that and that Sabrina should give him a chance.
Mambo Marie pays Roz an unexpected visit to tell her that she isn’t a cunning woman, rather a Weird woman, better known as a witch. Her Nana Ruth didn’t tell her the truth about herself. Mambo Marie gifts Roz with the sight of a third eye so that she can speak to her Nana, who reveals that the Walker women are in fact witches. But they couldn’t use that word because they were god-fearing Christian women whereas witches danced with the Devil and were burned at the stake. So, to protect themselves from the same fate, they called themselves cunning women. Given that they’re at war with the Eldritch Terrors, they need as many allies as possible, Mambo Marie explains. She goes on to tell Roz to visit her at the Academy. Harvey then knocks at the door, and Mambo Marie teleports away.
Sabrina and Lucas have dinner at Cerberus Books. He wonders what made Sabrina change her mind and decide to go out with him. She admits that Roz encouraged her to say yes. Sabrina reveals that she wasn’t sure she was ready to go on another date because she’s been feeling unmoored lately. She finds herself wondering where she fits in the universe. Lucas can relate as he was going through something similar earlier in life. Swimming saved him during that time. When he’s underwater, everything goes away, and he feels peace. Lucas walks Sabrina home, and she gives him a kiss goodbye.
Sabrina gets in bed and goes to sleep. She dreams of being in the Baxter High hallways with Lucas after he had just won a swim meet. He says that the metal has to be gold. The Eldritch Terrors demand it. He goes on to declare himself as the Weird One. Sabrina is the first that he’s taken over, and with her power, they will consume all life. Sabrina then kisses Lucas, who reveals that he’s not a boy. Sabrina then finds herself wrapped in the Weird One’s tentacles before waking up in her bathtub.
Beelzebub and Asmodeus gaze upon Caliban as he sits upon the throne while Lucifer and Sabrina Morningstar are away touring the Nine Circles. There is still much standing in the way of Caliban and the Royal seat, such as Lilith and her baby. Caliban refuses to allow Lilith’s bastard child to threaten his claim to the throne, so he and the Plague Kings perform a spell to kill Lilith and her baby.
Lilith suddenly finds herself under intense pain as her baby nears birth. She calls out to the Demonic Minion in fear of being ripped apart by her own child and tells him to take her to the mortal realm. Demonic Minion does as told and takes Lilith to the Academy of Unseen Arts, where Zelda instructs Prudence to call Hilda and gather all the witches in the Academy.
The Order of Hecate surrounds Lilith as she goes into labor. She screams out in agony. So, Zelda calls upon Hecate to make Lilith’s pain their pain so that she can deliver the child. With help from Hilda, Prudence, and Mambo Marie, Lilith gives birth to a beautiful baby boy.
Sabrina and Lucas are partnered up in biology class for their squid dissection project. However, Sabrina hears an unbearable metallic sound every time she nears the squid with her scalpel. She’s clearly in pain and is excused from class, along with Lucas, who offers to take her home. Once home, Sabrina drinks a large glass of water. She insists that she’s fine and that she was merely dehydrated. She tells Lucas to stay and the two proceed to make out on the couch. He remarks that she’s an aggressive kisser and that her tongue feels rough. She sticks her tongue out so that he can get a better look. Lucas is startled by his discovery and leaves abruptly.
Sabrina looks in the mirror and discovers that her tongue is covered in suction cups and that she has ink sacks on her palms, similar to that of a squid. Sabrina shares this with Ambrose, who reveals that the most recent corpse to be brought in shows the same systems in addition to three hearts, ammonia for blood, and softened bones. He was essentially turning into a squid-human hybrid. Ambrose suspects that she’s the current host to the Weird, which is a parasitic entity resembling Mollusca Cephalopoda Octopoda. Ambrose believes that the Weird snuck in using the corpse as a Trojan horse in order to get to Sabrina. Ambrose then uses Sweeney’s butcher paper to take a snapshot of Sabrina’s insides, similar to a CAT scan. The paper shows the Weird hiding amongst Sabrina’s intestines. With no other choice, Ambrose must cut Sabrina open. He has eyes on it momentarily before it retreats further into Sabrina.
Having failed to physically extract the Weird from Sabrina, Ambrose rethinks his plan. While getting Sabrina a cup of water, he comes to the realization that the Weird can not live without water. So to purge her of this parasitic entity, they merely have to make her an inhospitable host, by draining the water from her body. The Weird would then flee her body seeking for a more hospitable host.
Ambrose calls over the river witch, Sycorax, who can manipulate water. Nick decides to join them because every other witch in the coven is swooning over Lilith’s baby. He’s also worried for Sabrina. This procedure Sycorax is about to perform is not without risk. If Sabrina loses too much water too quickly, her organs could shut down and she could die of dehydration. Sycorax slowly drains Sabrina of all the water in her body. Having lost so much water, Sabrina collapses onto the ground. She then coughs up the Weird’s lifeless body into a metal bucket.
Beelzebub and Asmodeus report to Caliban that Lilith has fled to Greendale and given birth under the protection of the Order of Hecate. Caliban orders the Plague Kings to go to Greendale under a friendly guise and bring back the child so that he may kill the babe himself.
Roz arrives at the Academy, where she is confronted by Prudence, who views her as nothing more than another fragile mortal. They are joined by Mambo Marie, who informs Prudence that Roz is a witch, however, Prudence is doubtful and agrees to test the alleged witch. Roz wears a blindfold as Prudence plucks a tarot card from the deck. Prudence plucks nearly a dozen cards, all of which Roz identifies correctly. She even knows the upcoming cards before Prudence can pick them. Mambo Marie is amazed, explaining that Roz is a seer. Roz then gets a vision that the Plague Kings are coming for Lilith’s child.
Prudence, Roz, and Mambo Marie report their discovery to Zelda and Hilda, who inform Lilith of the arrival of the Plague Kings, who claim that they’ve come to pay tribute. However, Lilith knows that their true motive is to kill her child. With that said, Zelda intends to give them the welcome they deserve. She leads the Order of Hecate to confront Beelzebub and Asmodeus, who claim that they’ve come at the Dark Lord’s behest. They refuse to leave without the child, to which Zelda replies they have a problem. When the Plague Kings threaten to kill the coven and take the babe, Zelda reveals that they’re under Hecate’s protection and invoke the power of Hecate, killing Asmodeus and greatly wounding Beelzebub, who just barely escapes with his life.
Beelzebub makes it back to Hell to report to Caliban that Asmodeus was ripped apart by the Order of Hecate, who are providing Lilith with sanctuary.
Hilda and Zelda inform Lilith that Asmodeus is dead and Beelzebub is gravely wounded. The coven has decided that Lilith can take refuge at the Academy for as long as she needs. Lilith replies "Adam and I accept."
Sabrina approaches Lucas at his locker and tells him that what he saw was merely an intense allergic reaction to calamari. Lucas replies that he’s allergic to peanuts and reveals how they almost killed him once.
Lucas drops his scalpel and climbs under the desk to retrieve it. When he lifts his head from under the desk, the entire class has frozen in place with the exception of Sabrina, who with a bloody nose says "We are the Weird. We are older than the stars. We are older than time. We were born in the first ocean. All life began from us, and all life will return to us. You will all be assimilated." Elsewhere, at the mortuary, Ambrose discovers that the Weird isn’t dead while examining its body. With Sabrina under its control, the Weird reveals that in the Dark Wet they shared one consciousness and they will share it again. They intend to assimilate the entire world and to make everyone their slaves. They will all become a part of the Weird, who will become nourishment for the Void. The Weird then orders everyone to kill themselves as tribute to the Eldritch Terrors. However, Ambrose intervenes and renders the Weird unconscious. Lucas demands to know what’s happening. Ambrose erases his memory before putting him to sleep. He then orders the rest of the class to sleep.
Sabrina finds herself face-to-face with the Weird within her own consciousness. They reveal how they’ve been around since the beginning of all things. They are now one with Sabrina. They will think as one and feel as one. They chose Sabrina because she was both the strongest and the weakest, the most vulnerable, making her an empty vessel waiting to be filled.
Sabrina wakes up in the morgue. Ambrose reveals that she was being puppeteered by the Weird. While she was asleep, he took another scan of her body and discovered that the Weird had attached itself to Sabrina’s cerebellum. While Sabrina may have coughed up its physical form, it’s consciousness remained inside her. They must make Sabrina’s brain an inhospitable environment so that it flees her body. Ambrose intends to call in the rot witch, Pesta, to infect Sabrina’s brain with every disease known to human and witch-kind. While Pesta rots Sabrina’s brain, she must fixate on a mantra that is unique to her. Ambrose calls over Pesta as planned. Nick decides to join them as well. Sabrina’s mantra is the show tune "Sixteen Going on Seventeen." She sings the song as Pesta rots her brain to force the Weird out. However, Sabrina’s nose starts to bleed as she has trouble reciting the mantra. And so, Nick sings along with her to keep her focused. Before long, the consciousness of the Weird flees from Sabrina’s brain and finds a new host — an octopus in Ambrose’s fish tank, which he then freezes.
Roz joins Harvey in his garage intent on revealing to him that she’s a witch, but she backs out at the last moment in fear of how he may react.
While in class, Sabrina learns that Lucas has transferred to Riverdale High.
After school, Ambrose takes another scan of Sabrina, who appears to be all clear. She recalls the Weird telling her that she was a vessel waiting to be filled, and she admits that it was right. She has been feeling empty and lost, but she’s been trying to fill herself with the wrong thing. So, Sabrina heads upstairs and drains the water in the tub where she was creating the perfect boyfriend.
Mambo Marie takes Roz and Prudence to the Academy’s Observatory. They will each take turns observing the three realms — Earth, the mortal realm, Heaven, the celestial realm, and Hell, the infernal realm. The three of them will be the Sentinels. Roz reveals that she has yet to tell Harvey that she’s a witch. Prudence understands that somethings are best kept secret. Moving forward, the three of them will take shifts while maintaining a constant psychic link. The next terror can occur at any moment, so they will tune themselves to the realms’ energies, and when there’s a significant disruption, they will sense it and get ahead of the danger. Mambo Marie believes this is why Roz was gifted with the ability to sight — to help them stop the terrors. Prudence locks fingers with Roz and Mambo Marie and refers to the three of them as the "new Weird Sisters."
Agatha asks what of the Weird. Given that they’ve retained independent thought, it could only mean that the Weird One’s assimilation of Greendale has failed. Mary asks which Eldritch Terror comes next. Blackwood reveals that the Perverse is next, which is his favorite.
- An issue of the comic Archie's Madhouse can be seen attached to the wall of Cerberus Books.
- Lucas Hunt, Sabrina's lab partner and new student, transferred from Innsmouth High, a reference to the fictional town in Massachusetts created by H.P. Lovecraft. He later transfers to Riverdale High.