| “ | And as easy as that, whatever bubble Veronica and I had been in, just burst. Tomorrow, at school, things would be different. We'd no longer be the Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller of Riverdale High. We'd pass each other in the hall, but she'd once again be the beautiful socialite, and I'd be the melvin who writes comic books. The kind that hopefully weren't corrupting the youth of America. | ” |
— Jughead
| ||
"Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Two: Tales in a Jugular Vein" is the fifth episode of the seventh season of Riverdale and the one hundredth and twenty-second episode of the series overall. It premiered on April 26, 2023.
Synopsis[]
CORRUPTING THE YOUTH OF AMERICA — Principal Featherhead takes aim at the negative influence comic books have over kids, just as Jughead is tasked by Pep Comics to write four tales for a new issue. [2]
Plot[]
Secret meeting
Clifford Blossom has arranged a meeting with Principal Featherhead and Dr. Werthers. They report that Ethel hasn't made any noise since being sent to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. In fact, Sister Woodhouse has imposed a vow of silence. As for the PTA, the parents are still upset and demand answers regarding the gruesome deaths of Mr. And Mrs. Muggs. Tom is trying to find the milkman and the murder weapon, but Werthers claims to have the weapon in his possession, pulling from his bag several horror comics. He wants to stop rehashing the Muggs murder case and start taking precautions to ensure nothing like it happens again. In his research, he's discovered that comic books are the influencing factor in most incidents involving teen violence and delinquency. He says that the PTA should turn their attention to comic books, and he believes he knows how to make that happen.
Jughead gets the opportunity to write a story
Jughead arrives at Pep Comics, where Mr. Fieldstone informs him that everyone is out due to a stomach bug going around, leaving him completely overwhelmed with work, as he needs a full issue written by tomorrow morning, which Jughead offers to take care of. In case Jughead has any trouble coming up with ideas, he gives him some springboards to talk over with Bernie. However, all the stories have been done to death. With Bernie's help, Jughead decides to write a story about teenagers in high school. Pep Comic doesn't create such stories as Mr. Fieldstone doesn't relate to them, but Bernie believes Jughead should at least try, given that teenagers do in fact buy their comics.
Veronica joins Jughead
As Jughead races to write Pep Comics' latest issue, with a deadline set for tomorrow morning, Veronica arrives at his train car, hoping he'd be willing to take her to a movie at the Babylonium, but Jughead informs her that he's been tasked with writing an entire issue and asks if they could postpone their outing for another day. Not only is Veronica understanding, she offers to help Jughead with his issue and asks to hear his first story, which is sports-themed and narrated by an elderly man named the Key-Keeper.
The Key-Keeper
The aforementioned Key-Keeper introduces Jughead's story titled Keep Your Head in the Game. Every team has its weakest player, that being Dilton Doiley in this case, who is short, near-sighted and uncoordinated. At the end of one practice, Coach Kleats has the team line up to make a free throw shot. However, no one is allowed to leave until everyone makes a basket, but Dilton can't make a shot to save his life. Until he does, Coach Kleats instructs the other players to run laps, which angers Julian, who to tell Dilton that he's a dead man. And after practice, he follows through with his threat and confronts Dilton in the locker room, asking why he is even on the team. Dilton explains that he just wanted to be part of the team, to which Julian replies that he should be the water boy in that case. He advises Dilton to get his head in the game and stuffs him in the locker. Archie watches, suggesting that this isn't the best idea, but he does nothing to intervene when Julian locks Dilton inside the locker and threatens to murder him if he doesn't start to pull his weight.
Dilton holds Archie's head
Dilton is left in the locker overnight. Unbeknownst to the rest of the team, Dilton was born morbidly claustrophobic. So by the time the day shift janitor finds and releases him the next morning, he has suffered a complete psychotic break. Now a madman, Dilton is hellbent on revenge against the Riverdale Bulldogs. He grabs an ax and hides inside his locker until the Bulldogs return, at which point, he slaughters them. The following day, after killing the Bulldogs, Dilton dedicates his time to perfecting his shot in the gym using heads as basketballs. Coach Kleats enters the gym just as Dilton shoots Julian's severed head into the next, causing it to roll towards the coach's feet. On one bench sits the bodies of the Bulldogs, and on the other sits the decapitated heads. After Coach Kleats flees for his life, Dilton grabs Archie's head next.
Veronica salutes Dilton
After hearing Jughead's first story, Veronica salutes Dilton for dealing with his bullies. This is what Dr. Werthers doesn't understands, Jughead says. What he refers to as degenerate comics are really just bite-sized morality tales. Yes, comics can be over the top and bloody at times, but in these stories, people who are cruel and break the rules are punished, as well as people who have lustful sex, which intrigues Veronica even further.
Rose warns Archie about Cheryl
The Key-Keeper introduces Jughead's next tale, Love You to Pieces, which takes place on a dark and stormy night, with Archie getting a flat tire near Thornhill. In need of assistance, Archie knocks on the door. Nana Rose answers and invites Archie inside. He asks to stay the night, and in the morning, he can call the garage. She is agreeable and tells him to come inside. She gives Archie some tea to warm him up whilst sitting next to the fireplace. Nana Rose welcomes him to stay in her guest room for the night, though he must observe the following ground rules. Once he is in his room, he must stay there all night, and just as importantly, he must lock his door and keep it locked for the entire night. When asked why, Nana Rose explains that she's not alone in the house. Her granddaughter lives with her, and she has this compulsion for intimate and physical touching. She's even been known to sneak into the bedrooms of strange young men at night and get her fix.
Cheryl with leprosy
That night, Archie disobeys Nana Rose's rules after seeing a painting of her admittedly beautiful granddaughter and leaves his door cracked for Cheryl, who enters his bedroom. She's glad he came and begins caressing Archie's body in the darkness, at which point, they begin kissing. The following morning, Archie joins Nana Rose at the breakfast table, thanking her for her hospitality and then asking Nana Rose what is wrong with Cheryl. Once vibrant and youthful, Rose explains that Cheryl took a trip to a tropical jungle and unfortunately contracted a rare form of leprosy, rotting her flesh away, and now she can't be around other people due to it being contagious. Thankfully, Nana Rose is immune due to being exposed as a child. Cheryl will soon succumb to the leprosy and die, which is why Nana Rose does everything in her power to ensure her final days are relished. It was no accident that brought Archie to the house. She left nails on the road and led him to Thornhill. Nana Rose reminds Archie that she did warn him to lock the door and be a good boy, but he disobeyed, and now he's certainly infected. Cheryl joins Archie, disfigured and diseased, and tells him that they're going to be together forever.
Jughead explains that curiosity killed the cat
Jughead's second story was grotesque by Veronica's account, though she wonders what the moral of the story was. Jughead explains it's more of a "curiosity killed the cat" message. Speaking of Archie and Cheryl, Veronica heard that they broke up and that they didn't do much more than kiss. Veronica goes on to say that God created high school so that boys could chase girls and vice versa. Girls will do just about anything to get a boy's attention, leading Jughead into his next story.
Betty wants to be seen
Titled The Beehive, Jughead's third story stars Betty as an ordinary plain Jane at Riverdale High School, where she is incapable of garnering any attention from the boys at school, often feeling invisible, so she follows the advice of her favorite beauty mags and foes to the salon for a makeover. She asks for something that will give her the attention she's looking for. The hairdresser suggests a new hairstyle, known in Europe as the Beehive. The hairdresser assures Betty it will get her the attention she's always wanted and then some. However, once they get her hair up into the hive, she's not going to ever be able to wash her hair or undo it. She's instead given a simple can of hairspray to maintain her new hairdo.
Betty's new hive
The next day at school, Betty's new hair has attracted the attention of all the boys and girls. Later in the day, Cheryl and Veronica join her in the bathroom, where they tell Betty that her ridiculous hairstyle will never change the fact that she'll always be a ponytail princess on the inside. However, Betty isn't bothered by them. In fact, she is encouraged to maintain her new hair. She begins feeding off the attention and the more hairspray she uses, the heavier and more shellacked it becomes, leading to even more attention from the boys; Julian asks to carry her books to class, and Archie asks to take her out, but she says that she'll think about it. Betty stays true to her word. She doesn't wash her hair or even take it out, only dousing it with hairspray when necessary, including when she goes to bed.
Betty dies
One week later, Archie and Betty have begun dating, and he takes her on a date to Pops, where Pop Tate says that Betty has always been a catch. Archie then takes Betty's hand and leads her onto the dance floor. However, Betty becomes dizzy and drops to the floor, where she convulses and foams at the mouth until her final breath.
Spiders in Betty's brain
Betty's body is taken to the morgue, where Dr. Curdle Jr. performs her autopsy. He cuts into her head and discovers spiders inside her cranium. Betty's hair attracted more than just boys. A black widow spider had crawled into Betty's head a week before and laid a batch of eggs in her hive. When the spiders hatched, they chewed into her brain. The Key-Keeper remarks that beauty is only skin deep and that vanity kills.
Veronica asks to be a main character in Jughead's story
Veronica is offended by Jughead's third tale, asking what's wrong with wanting to look good, saying that boys do the same thing by lifting weights to build muscle. Nevertheless, Jughead is down to his final story, and Veronica has yet to have a starring role. She'd like for it to be something romantic or about female friendship, leading Jughead to flip the classic teenage love triangle, one in which the girls don't go at each other's throats.
Archie dates Betty and Veronica
Jughead's fourth and final tale, titled My Better Half, picks up with Archie in a classroom, where the Key-Keeper says that Archie is a good kid but terrible at decision-making, struggling at the most basic multiple choice questions, mainly if she could go with Betty or Veronica. Surprisingly, he instead chooses both girls. Three days out of the week, he takes out Betty, and on another three, he takes out Veronica. However, six dates a week takes its toll on Archie, which is why he leaves Sunday for resting. Betty and Veronica know that he is dating the other, but they both want Archie to themselves. They both hated the notion of sharing Archie, asking him to dump the other. Archie leads on both girls, whispering in both Betty and Veronica's ears that they're his favorite.
Archie explains how to keep up with two girls
Julian questions how Archie manages to maintain two girls. Archie explains that he simply tells them what they want to hear. While he's seeing other girls, he tells them that he's only serious about them and feeds them the same three simple words: "You're my favorite." Dilton interrupts to tell Archie that he said four words, but Julian tells him to shut up and turns his attention back to Archie, asking if he ever gets exhausted, which he does, but that's why he has Sundays to himself, as well as coffee to keep him alert.
Betty and Veronica fight over Archie
Cheryl asks Veronica whose taking her out for Valentine's Day, which just so happens to fall on a Sunday. Veronica says she'll be seeing Archie, but Betty argues otherwise and says Archie will be with her. Veronica claims that Archie calls her his best girl and that he only spends so much time with Betty because she's a charity case. Betty retorts the only reason Archie spends time with Veronica is due to the fact that her ego is so fragile that he's afraid she might do something desperate or crazy if he breaks up with her. Veronica then reveals that Archie shared with her that Betty is so high-strung that she takes her mom's sleeping pills to go to bed. Cheryl deduces that Archie has been playing the two of them.
Archie lies to Betty and Veronica
No longer willing to share, Betty and Veronica confront Archie together, telling him that he must choose between the two of them. Archie tells them to calm down and that neither of them can be his Valentine's Day date because he's taking his mom out, given that it's her first Valentine's Day without his dad. Betty and Veronica are both sympathetic and immediately apologizes for pressuring Archie, who doesn't want them missing out in Valentine's Day just because of him and encourages them to go out with some other guys, but they both decide otherwise, agreeing to stay on Sunday night. However, when Sunday night finally comes around, Betty and Veronica decide to go on a date together to Pop's, where, to their surprise, Archie walks in with Cheryl. Rather than approaching him directly, Betty devises a plan.
Betty and Veronica approach Archie about a special date
Betty and Veronica approach Archie Monday morning at school and ask about his Valentines date with his mom. A night off gave them a chance to reflect, and since he's been having such a hard time to choose between the two of them, they propose he have them both at the same time for a special date. Archie wants to hook up at lover lane, but Betty suggests they meet at shop class after hours due to it being soundproof.
Betty and Veronica share Archie
Later that night, Archie arrives at shop class, where Betty and Veronica await. They've brewed his coffees extra strong tonight and say that he'll need all his energy for what they have planned ahead. However, Archie instantly become unconscious from the drink, having been drugged with sleeping pills. When he awakens, Betty and Veronica are standing over him while he's restrained to a table. Betty and Veronica proceed to turn on a large table saw and cut Archie in half. They head back to the Pembrooke, where Veronica takes Archie's top half and Betty has his bottom half.
Veronica is turned off by Jughead's stories
Jughead asks Veronica about her thoughts on his final story. She has detected a pattern. The sexual politics in most of his stories are troubling. Jughead accuses her of overthinking it, claiming that they're meant to be jokes, but Veronica isn't convinced and accuses Jughead of demonizing women. Now that he's done, he asks her out to catch the last showing at the Babylonium, but Veronica is no longer interested, though she claims that she's simply tired. Unfortunately, this is not entirely true. The following day at school, Jughead and Veronica's relationship has changed. They' pass each other in the halls, but they're no longer the Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller of Riverdale High.
Dr. Werthers takes aim at comics
Spearheaded by Dr. Werthers, the Riverdale Register publishes an article demonizing comic books and accusing them of being the slaughterer of childhood innocence. Featherhead reads over the article whilst with Clifford and Werthers, which claims that there's a direct link between the gruesome acts depicted in comics books and similar acts of savagery committed by juveniles who read such comics. The soon-to-be-forgotten Muggs murder is small in comparison to the threat Werthers have outlined in the paper. Werthers sees it as his civic duty to deal with the matter and believes that comic creators should be held accountable and prosecuted.
To be continued
Mr. Fieldstone congratulates Jughead on a job well done with his issue. Jughead was in desperate need for a win after his split with Veronica, who didn't like what he had to say. Because he managed to turn over such an amazing issue in such little time, Mr. Fieldstone agrees to credit Jughead on the byline of the comic, coining the name Jughead "Jugular" Jones. Mr. Fieldstone tells Jughead that girls come and go, but his name in print, will make people sit up and take notice.
Cast[]
Starring[] |
Guest Starring[]
Co-Starring[]
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Soundtrack[]
- Larry and Louise Crabb - Please Pardon My Tears
- Harold Porterfield - She's Sweet
- Scene: Jughead's 3rd story. Betty arrives at school with her new hair, turning everyone's heads.
- Chuck Higgins - Eye Balling
- Scene: Jughead's 3rd story. Archie and Betty on a date at Pop's.
- Elvis Presley - I Got Stung
- Scene: Jughead's 3rd story. Archie and Betty dance at Pop's.
- The Savoys - Darling Stay with Me
- Sue Allen - Coffee Break!
- Scene: Jughead's 4th story. Betty and Veronica go to Pop's on Valentine's Day and see Archie with Cheryl.
- Toni Harper - Just Right For Me
- Scene: Jughead's 4th story. Betty and Veronica saw Archie in half.
Gallery[]
Promotional Images[]
Screencaps[]
Videos[]
