User blog:SouthsideDarling/MORE RIVERDALE THOUGHTS

Jughead: So how did you guys meet?

Sweet Pea: Toni and I got to the top of the playground at the same time back in Kindergarten.

Toni: Sweet Pea pushed me out of the way so he could get to the slide first, so naturally I kicked him down the slide Sparta-style to show him my true power.

Fangs: Then he fell on top of me and broke my leg. As soon as I got back to school after going to the hospital I smacked him in the face with one of my crutches and broke his nose.

Toni: And that’s how we became friends.

Jughead: So what I’m gathering here is that you all became friends through mutual Kindergarten physical assault.

Sweet Pea:

Toni:

Fangs: Well when you put it like that it sounds really ugly, Jug. And quite frankly, we don’t need that negativity in our lives.

Fangs: If I ever have a kid and it’s a girl I should name her lizard and call her Liz and people will be like “Oh is that short for Elizabeth?” and she’ll have to say “No, my name is Lizard.”

Jughead: You’re officially never allowed to touch a birth certificate in your whole life.

Fangs: Wow, I need a drink.

Fangs: *pours apple juice into a shot glass*

HOMAGE TO VINE

Toni: Hey, I’m a lesbian



Sweet Pea:



Toni:



Sweet Pea: I thought you were American



[while investigating a haunted house]

Sweet Pea: [to Toni and Fangs] Scooby and Shaggy, you guys check the cabinets.

Sweet Pea: [points to Jughead] Velma, check the fridge.

Jughead: How come I get the dubious-looking device?!

Sweet Pea: Because Velma always checks the scariest thing. And only Velma would say “dubious-looking device”.

Betty: Then what does that make you, Sweet Pea? Fred?

Sweet Pea: Bitch I’m Daphne.



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